This Savage Art

I haven’t been posting much. It seems that my time has been taken up by more personal issues lately. My girlfriend Linda had bronchitis which in itself isn’t earth shattering news but it brings me to my next point which is the more monumental news in this post. She’s 20 weeks pregnant. There it is, out there for everyone. The last few weeks have been pretty stressful on the both of us due to seeing a lot of doctors and figuring out how to deal with the illness under these circumstances.

You question and dissect everything. Every decision you make and what the repercussions could be for the child. Linda was having a hard time breathing so she needed to take antibiotics which I wasn’t thrilled with but lack of oxygen is an even greater risk. Ya see, I come from a household that fought off illness with the great immune boosting powerhouse, garlic. Linda is allergic to garlic. This obviously was a more serious situation.

It makes you nervous to make some decisions but I guess that’s what being a parent is really all about. Making decisions for someone who isn’t equipped to do that yet. It’s all one big learning curve for us as a couple and individually. While dealing with all of this a lot of creative work has taken a back seat and that makes me very nervous and uneasy. I’ve been introspective about the future of my work, questioning if there even is one, what all this change is going to mean for me in terms of creative output. No, I’m not giving it all up to change diapers but my time will be an issue and I’ll need to learn how to distribute it correctly without getting lost. This is important and it will take much discipline. Linda says I’m one of the most discipline people she knows. I just don’t see it.

Change is usually a good thing and this is one of the biggest changes a person can go through. With some planning and scheduling it can work.

It has to.